Monthly Archives: August 2016

still 2016 with Pain but also with Hope

I said last post that this year has felt so long.  Most years seem to zip by so fast that there is barely enough time to realize all that has happened.  There is still over 1/3 of the year left and there are SO many events, activities and plans for the rest of the year so why I am I literally dreading most of it?  Is it because my back and body are trying to tell me things that may no longer be prudent to ignore?  Stewing about this too much has never worked for me and it when I start to stagnate so. . .

Two weeks ago we bought some new furniture since we hadn’t done so in over 13 years.  The first week of moving, rearranging, organizing etc. wasn’t too bad.  Then all of a sudden I remembered why those simple types of activities really upset my back.  This time it was my mid back with some of the worst pain and spasm I have had in years.  No missed work but I did have an afternoon where I needed help in the pm with a few patients.  It doesn’t happen often especially since I have cut back my schedule but when it does it is very embarrassing for me.   Mix in having to take time away from exercise, race preparation and general movement and my moods start to suffer.  Instead of getting down about it I seem to be getting more angry. . . at a lot of things.  I have to figure out why.   To compound this someone who I am in no way close to but familiar with said something to me I believe in jest that really pissed me off.  We aren’t friends but she got too familiar with a flippant comment and called me an a/xhole.  Still deciding where to go with this since it came of left field.

This past weekend I went on a trail run with a great friend, just 9 miles with some climbing and rocky terrain for only the 2nd time ever at this level.  The first time I went with him I was in no way ready and hurt myself quite a bit.  This time with a bit more preparation, a much smarter pacing strategy and better foot striking on sharp rocks I was feeling amazing. Six plus miles in on the way back down and my left foot drop finally reared it’s head.  I clipped a rock, fell hard hurting my left knee, aggravating my SC shoulder joint and bad left ankle.  I shook it off, kept going but much slower and proceeded to continue falling and tripping, kicking rocks and punching a cholla.  A got a big gash on my left knee and thus cannot swim ’til it heals, I am not sure if I can bike and running sounds painful for the next few days.  I happen to have had family in from LA and we had a great though short visit which kept me from getting too down Sunday after the run.  They are safely back home in L.A.

Today as I lay here working remotely, doing some honey dos as my wife is at work and catching up on sports talk shows I don’t feel angry.  I feel oddly optimistic despite feeling so achy and despite the fact that I just realized I also  bruised my ribs!  Oy.  There is a busy week ahead, time with friends and my lovely spouse’s birthday coming up so NO time for a pity party or even for anger.  I don’t know if I will be able to even attempt the rest of my ’16 race goals but in all honesty they are a bit too lofty anyway.  I am ok with that and look forward to the rest of today and the coming fall and winter.  Survive then Thrive if you’re lucky and keep pressing.